whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
