well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
