It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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