Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
