"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
