Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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