i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
