But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
