I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
