With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
