But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
