But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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