I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
it glows. i had to have it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
