I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
