Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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