Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
