i can't believe i had my finger in that
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
