I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
...so i touched it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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