How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
