I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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