she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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