Apparently you make a good broom.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
