i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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