I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize