Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
