whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
