U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
