I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
nutella sex= disaster
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
