ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
