you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
