I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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