We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
