Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I wear drunk well.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
