Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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