But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
