my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
