in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
