There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
