No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
