real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
