If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
3pm strippers are depressing
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
that is very illegal...i love you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
