you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
