yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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