DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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