You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
