I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
