I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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