i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
