Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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