got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
