a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
