their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
