You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
