I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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