I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Randomize
