Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
