I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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