There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So squirting runs in the family.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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