Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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