Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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